I'd See You Again
by The GirlieGyarados
Summary: The GirlieGyarados would like to present the story of Videl on the Lookout and Gohan on the planet of the Kais. Set to the tune of James Taylor's "Fire And Rain." Oneshot. Barest hint of romance. Enjoy.


  
I'd See You Again  
***  
  
A/N: Yeah, yeah, so everyone has one of these, like I care. This is my rendition of that famous time when Videl thinks Gohan's dead. This may become to G/V writers what The Three Years has become to B/V writers. Ah well.  
  
A/N: I aspire to the acoustic. James Tayor and Paul Simon are my heroes. One word in this song is changed; you'll probably be able to figure out what it is. The GirlieGyarados also loves football and by extension, football movies. Therefore, she loves "Remember The Titans."   
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z. I do not own "Fire And Rain." Ask me no questions. I tell you no lies.  
  
***  
  
_"Gohan and Vejiita are dead."_  
  
Videl was curled in a corner somewhere in the Lookout. She didn't know where, nor did she particularly care. It was dark and alone down here, so she could hide safely. The marble tiling was cool and pale grey in the absence of direct light. Sadly, the dark room was free of dust, which meant people came here regularly. She would be found here soon--  
  
_"Gohan and Vejiita are dead."_  
  
--listening to despair playing itself again, over and over again, in her head.  
  
  


_  
Just yesterday morning, they let me know you were gone,  
  
Gohan the plans they made put an end to you.  
_

  
  
  
Videl rubbed her eyes, ignoring the fact that this only made them even redder. This was why she hid; so she could cry. No one yet had seen Videl cry, and she wasn't going to start letting them now.  
  
"Gohan..." The second the sound left her lips she regretted it. She had--and she apologized deeply to herself--_whimpered._ She, coward that she was, had whimpered. Puling, miserable brat; she hadn't been like this when her mother died. She hadn't put herself in such a state.  
  
Something in her chest tugged. _Why didn't you follow him, Videl?_  
  
Yes. Why.  
  
Because the pink one--Kibitou--had told her not to.  
  
_Not good enough._  
  
And Gohan had seconded. Damn him.  
  
_Don't be foolish,_ Videl said, _You would have died, you would have died in his arms, before his eyes--there was nothing you could have done to save him._  
  
And could she have told him? In those last breaths--blood and gasping and pain oh the pain there must have been--would she have said it and been damned with it?  
  
  


_  
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song  
  
I just can't remember who to send it to.  
_

  
  
  
She would never be able to tell if she'd be able to. If it came to to her last breaths, would she have said it? Could she?  
  
She could never tell. She would never know.  
  
Another sob swelled in her throat, so she moved to stifle it in her forearms, propped on her knees drawn up to her chin. Self-loathing mingled with horror and fear and doubt and sorrow. Grief. Despair. Loss. No one should feel so many things at once. It would be enough to make them explode.  
  
She hated herself. She shouldn't have been so weak. So much a coward. So much a fool that she tried to run away from her emotions. She had done it before, and she was doing it now.  
  
Videl, when she was little, had believed that daffodils rested beneath the snowbanks. She believed that those flowers stayed growing underneath the snow, and no one could persuade her otherwise. The frost simply could not kill flowers. They were stronger than that. Life was stronger than that. She was stronger than that.  
  
But the flowers do not grow beneath the snow. Tulips are buried under drifts and they are gone forever. And the vase full of water will sit on the windowsill, unused, unwanted. Regret.  
  
Cold dead bodies, despairing to be dying alone--alone, on the battlefield, denied even the comfort of companionship. Vultures, even, do not descend until death. Handsome, lonely carrion. Regret.  
  
A fresh wave of tears. Dead men tell no tales. Death and deaf. Forever more. Regret.  
  
She should have told him.   
  
Coward.  
  
Regret.  
  
  


_  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain  
  
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
  
But I'd always thought that I'd see you again  
_

  
  
  
_Sching! Schin-shin! Ching-ching chlang! Schwin! Chwin! Schling!_  
  
The Zed Sword split the air, sometimes Gohan was certain it was dividing molecules in its deadly arc. The Sword was heavy to hold, momentum was the only reason it hummed along as it did.  
  
_Schling-chang! Ching! Chin! Chlan-shlin k-ching! Kching! Shlang!_  
  
Sweat was gathering in the hollows of Gohan's temples, in the space between eye socket and eyelid. He had new respect for Mirai Trunks, swordsmanship was nowhere as easy as he'd supposed oit would be. Granted, he doubted that Mirai's sword could have been as heavy as his--  
  
--or maybe it could have been.  
  
_Zan-schlan schling! Ching! Chinshla-chin! Schlan! Schin! Shhhs-THUK!!_  
  
If the ground were an opponent, it would be dead: Twelve inches of blade were thrust in almost perpendicular. Gohan leaned over, hands on his knees, panting. The Supreme Kai could be heard faintly, his encouraging yet compassionate words washing over Gohan, who paid them no attention.  
  
He was exhausted. He could feel his heart thrumming against his sternum, his lungs protesting their workload. His pulse was pounding just behind his eyes, impairing his vision. His muscles felt like jelly, like melting butter.  
  
He wiped his face with the back of his wrist and pulled the Zed Sword out of the ground. There was work to be done.  
  
  


_  
Won't you look down upon me  
  
Jesus  
  
You've gotta help me make a stand  
_

  
  
  
The Sword was still as heavy as ever; which made absolutely no sense. Knowing his own strength, something this small but so massive should have been dense enough to have its own gravitational field.   
  
That is, if it's weight was in the metal. That is, if the weakness was in Gohan's muscles.  
  
  


_  
You've just gotta see me through another day  
  
My body's aching  
  
And my time is at hand  
_

  
  
  
Gohan's frown deepened as his grip on the handle of the Sword slipped a bit. He had no business being here. He had no business being safe.  
  
_mother dad goten bulma videl kuririn vejiita juuhachi trunks videl marron roshi yamcha videl puar oolong videl  
  
deserter_  
  
The battle against Majin Buu had been joined. And he was not there. True, he hadn't trained in...too long. The opportunity to train with the Supreme Kai was a once in a lifetime offer. The possession of the weapon to destroy Buu carried a pricetag of exactly "everything."  
  
But he was only a soldier. And he was Not There.  
  
He should be fighting.  
  
_i'm sorry daddy i left you to die_  
  
There would be no more Cell. He knew better now. He knew what a fight for your life really meant now. He _knew,_ dammit! So, he was here. Away.  
  
The Sword was even heavier now. Its weight traveled up his arms, until it dug it claws in right over each shoulder blade. The weight settled there. Gohan knew why the Sword grew in mass every second.  
  
  


_  
I won't make it any other way  
_

  
  
  
He didn't deserve this. Not while Buu lived. He shouldn't be here. No just being could there be, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children...  
  
He should be There.  
  
The Sword was yet growing in weight. No, it wasn't. He simply could not hold it. Guilt.  
  
Sloppy erratic movements. _Schlen schlen. Ching. Zan-chin. Klansh._  
  
Saltwater. Guilt.  
  
_Chen-shang. Sching. Shla-shla chling._  
  
He shouldn't be there.  
  
_shh-THUKK!_  
  
Dammit.   
  
Guilt.  
  
  


_  
Oh  
  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain  
  
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
  
But I'd always thought that I'd see you again  
_

  
  
  
Videl had moved into the sunlight. She was sitting on the edge of the tallest spire in the Lookout, perhaps the movement could be called ironic.   
  
Nobody had tried to speak with her yet. They had merely left her to her own devices, understanding how much she hurt.  
  
She was angry at that. Gohan would have come up to speak with by now. Gohan would have hugged her, Gohan would have let her cry, Gohan would have simply been there.  
  
He would have.  
  
No more tears. She was running out of salt water.  
  
  


_  
Been walking my mind to an easy time  
  
My back turned toward the sun  
_

  
  
  
Gohan was good and just and kind--and gone. Dead.  
  
Videl really, truly hated herself then. She had accepted his death, you see. She hated how much she believed he was dead. Her splitting personality: she knew he was dead, but she believed he was alive.   
  
He was a resident of that horrible Schroedinger's Zoo; simultaneously alive and dead. He could not stay there for too long. When his hour was up, they'd open the door and see: dead or no?  
  
But until then, Videl lived with her uncertainty.  
  
  


_  
Lord knows when the cold wind blows  
  
It'll turn your head around  
_

  
  
  
She laughed bitterly. She knew what she was doing. She'd done it before, when Desdemona died.  
  
Deluding herself.  
  
She had been young when her mother died. If the adult mind can barely wrap itself around death, then the child's brain is completely helpless. So, she had made pretend. She pretended that her mother was still alive, or that she could, somehow, hear her in the hereafter, if indeed one did exist.   
  
At night, she would hold long, one-sided conversations with her mother, making her listening father fear she was going mad. She would tell her what she had done today, how she was feeling, and what she wished and dreamed for.  
  
Videl did this until she was about ten. Then, she started to skip nights. These skipped nights grew in number until they became the rule, instead of the exception. By the time she had finished puberty, her mother had finally, over seven and a half years, died.  
  
Was she going to do this to herself again?  
  
Would Gohan at last visit her bedroom as a non-entity, a phantom? Even then, would she speak to him? Or was it a mark of her supreme cowardice, that even to an illusory Gohan she could not confess?  
  
  


_  
Well there's hours of time on the telephone line  
  
To talk about things to come  
  
Sweet dreams and flying machines--  
_

  
  
  
Damn hope. That apparatus operates outside of logic, deceitious, infidel will o' the wisp, serving only to prolong the torments of mankind.   
  
  


_  
--In pieces on the ground  
_

  
  
  
She could only continue to stare out at nothing, with only her regret, burning like bile in her throat, to keep her in poor company.  
  
  


_  
Oh  
  
I've seen fire and I've seen rain  
  
I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end  
  
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend  
  
But I always thought I'd see you  
  
baby  
  
One more time again  
_

  
  


* * *

  
A/N: Yes, another sleeper oneshot. I do so love these things. ::evilnesses::  
  
A/N: "Fire And Rain" is a very powerful song, so I simply HAD to write a songfic for it. You know...when you think about it, I'm amazed at the number of possible songfics that are never written. I mean, Cat's In The Cradle and Father of Mine would both be good singfics, so would My Favorite Mistake, Something In The Way She Moves, When I'm Gone, and Don't Let Me Be Lonely Tonight. Eh, I dunno...maybe someday...  
  
A/N: Considering how Matrix Reloaded is all the rage nowadays, let's try to quiz the audience: What is the philosophical theory that, if it is not indeed the basis behind the Matrix franchise, pervades it so entirely that it (the matrix) is used as an example of this theory? Hint: It begins with an "s" and ends in an "ism." ::smiles:: Just trying to make things a little more classy around here.  
EGRO: Yes, as classy as a porn script reading.  
TGG: Shut up.   
  
**Fic Of The Day : It's A Start** by sage. She's a miracle worker. She's created a particularly stellar work, and has the most enviable grasp of human emotions that hasn't published yet. She's unbelievable. Of course, if you've never heard of this work, it's understandable, as she hasn't UPDATED in A MONTH. ::glaaaaare...::  
GOHAN: As if you had any right to talk...  
TGG: Anyways, the List Of People Better Than TGG has been added to again....Gonna have to upgrade to Charmin now...double rolls...   
  
**Last Words : **"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush," "Dick," and "Colin." Need I say more?" _--Chris Rock. I only wish I could lay claim to this sort of brilliance._


End file.
